There Goes the Bride—and the Groom—and the Grand kids
By: Mr. Boomer Michael Riles
Then: “What Me Worry”. What Alfred E. Newman of Mad Magazine fame used to say.
Now: “What, me marry—and have kids?” What many of our kids are saying today.
Okay folks! I heard these Gen X’ers, Y’ers, Millennials or what-evers don’t want to marry and have kids. They know the stats, like the divorce rates and an economy that is less predictable than LOTTO—-I get it. They see the government lying in wait for them to say I DO like that hungry plant in Little Shop of Horrors singing “feed me newlyweds, every April 15—YUM YUM—duel incomes”.
The result of all this? LOL—lots of loneliness. I heard this on the radio. Get this. It’s happening in Japan.
Lonely Japanese women will charge a small fee for equally lonely Japanese men to watch each other eat a meal—on line—while they are watching each other via that “skyp” thing ON THEIR COMPUTERS? On top of that, anatomically correct synthetic infant dolls are now the rave for elderly Japanese couples that will never have grand kids because their kids refuse to marry and have kids. Google an anatomically correct doll named Sophia. Yep, it’s for grandparents NOT to be. Here’s a tune that’s coming folks.
Back in my “Mad Men” days in advertising I had a boss who used the phrase “It’s all so sad”. He had three daughters. He said that often, especially when the calls came in from their respective high school principals offices. Ferris Buehler met his match with these girls.
But here’s what’s “all so sad”. My son, a mechanical engineer and a month shy of being a millennial, is thirty five and he has given up on being a husband and dad. This happened the day he asked a girl at work if she wanted to join him for a burrito at lunch time. Her reaction? She screamed, grabbed her chest and ran out of her cubicle the way ET did when Drew Barrymore let out that epic scream in the movie ET. The poor kid just sat their dazed with a deer in the headlights expression on his face before doing a George Costanza of Seinfeld fame muttering “it—it was just a burrito”.
Remember Marie (Doris Roberts) on Everybody Loves Raymond and her confirmed bachelor cop son Robert? Remember her constant what lament? “You’re killing me Robbie. You’re killing me!”
Oh well—let’s see—Google SOPHIA the anatomically correct infant doll. Great—they have a web site. I wonder if they take AMEX? “Honey, what’s your pick? A grandson or daughter? Blond, brunette or red head?
New “term” coming for folks like us. My wife owns the patent. Grand-LESS. What’s that Latin phrase? O tempura. O Mores? (Oh the times—oh the habits).
But, in conclusion, here’s what’s really “all so sad”. My son loves babies (humans and animals). He also respects women. He’d be a great dad and equally devoted husband. Alas! What was the name of that epic Arrowsmith tune? Dream On?